random

heard from can n also read bout the 26y/o girl who died juz like dat. some say it's cos she knocked her head weeks b4 that on some glass panel or something, some say it's cos she had some form of stroke. it's so sad that her fb is filled with posts tellin her how much she'll be missed, as seriously, she will nvr get to read em all. her name in fb was yes iamtired. this struck me, as i'm perpetually complainin that i'm tired, and how i wish to slp and never wake up. it can actually come true. 'be careful what you wish for' was my 1st thought. i wonder how she went. was it in nice peaceful sleep? did she feel pain? was she goin home to heaven? did she have scary thoughts juz b4 dat? where did she go? i wonder. sometimes i think the scariest part bout death is not the dying itself, but what it leads us to. for me, will i be able to go Home? will i??? wad if i end up burning in perpetual fire? wad if i end up in purgatory? does dat mean i get to see all i know, but they cannot see me? wad if? i dun even noe if it's a good thing to see wad happens after i'm gone. i dun even wanna think how fast it takes to forget me. prob during the wake many ppl will mourn, feel sad, some happy that i'm gone. but after weeks, months and years, who will ever remember what i've done and what i've said. the insignificance scares me. and it saddens me to a certain extent. even as i live, i wonder how many have actually forgotten my significance in their individual lives. do they all remember me? do my primary school classmates even noe who i am? how bout my 'besties' back in school? frankly. i cannot remember the first 'best friend' i had in p1. i rem her face as a child. her name? i cannot. it is scary. now my loss of memory is scaring me too. i always thought i can remember things well. but seems like alot of episodes in my life, i missed. so. the girl's family must be crushed. she is so young afterall. her bf is sad. he prob nvr knew how easy it was to lose his gf. yes. we never know how easy it is. we norm think the worst wld be our partner finding somebody new. will we learn from this? i doubt. takin ppl for granted seems to be a human trait. nobody will escape that. not me, not you, unless maybe some trained person or something. it is sad. i cannot imagine how near it is. it's like she was a fren of a fren. i cannot imagine losin a fren in this way. this makes me wonder if being alone isn't dat bad a thing. at least u wun feel d pain of loss in anyway, since u dun have anything to start wif. sigh. i dunno. issit a sign to tell us all to show how we feel more than we would? shld we be tellin those we love how much we love them? do we say 'i will miss u if ure gone' more often? should we? well, for all who know me, you have in some way or other brought special moments to my life. i love you in different ways, and not catchin up enough doesn't mean i don't. and from the heart, i will miss u if ure gone. when will i ever learn to say how i feel? when will i ever know it's time? i'll probably forget soon. or i might just be the next one to slp n nvr wake up.