everything u ask for...

i'm so friggin tired all of a sudden. i was juz haolianin dat i dun need slp these days. o fug. now i feel a sudden gravitational pull at the shoulders, the ribcage, the neck...errr... everywhere! dat for sure i nvr asked for. i was like so happy n hoppin ard wif noshii juz an hour ago. til i decided to rest my back. then i was like drowning in the dead sea. ttly unable to survive kinda feeling. but still. here i am. afloat. arghh. wad is wrong with me??? i am so fucked up. everything bout me is juz so fucked. i spent the whole day not slpg and searchin for info but i dunno why i'm doin all dis. seriously. am i being an idiot here? sighh.. sometimes i dunno wad to expect. n i cannot ask for everything, cos even if i do, i wun get it all. anyway i was boliao earlier in d day dat i actuali spent time playing wif fotoshop. i'm like huh myself oso. yessss.. was so fascinated with the hues and saturation bit that i kept changin colours of pics, admiring the brilliance then closing the file w/o saving. hahaha if not will have kan zwei pics all same but diff colour lor! siao ah? aiya... i reali damn pekcek la. juz hope wad keli say bout creativity is true lor..maybe this is the start for me then. =P

i'm reali damn fed up la. everytime i try to stay high spirited, something or someone has to come and pull me down. wtf. i dun geddit man. sometimes i wonder if i shld juz stay away from the world. juz go into perpetual hibernation. i wun make ppl upset. i wun get myself upset oso. seems like i owe the world my life or something. fuck it. reali. u wanna attitude then fine. as if i dunno how to. see who backs out first lor. it's ok. afterall i've already looked at the choices, and chances are we aren't gonna be gettin anything. seriously. i think it's God telling me to hold back. all these things happening now. i think they happened for a reason. and ok. maybe wad the fengshui master said is true. i hope she's right bout it tho. i reali dun like all this. it is shortening my already miserable life. SO SHOULD I THANK YOU?????????